TeeJayVerm

My wife and I have been married a long time but live about three hours apart due to job situations. We meet up about 2/3 of the weekends with the daughters.

Here's the bottom line... I haven't drank at all in the last two weeks and I really don't want to tell her.

I saw her Saturday and Sunday and she made the observation I didn't drink on Saturday night (nodded her head in approval) but that was about it. I presume her wheels will really turn when I don't drink this Friday and Saturday night.

General concerns:
1. If I relapse, it potentially will be more disappointing to her than if I didn't attempt to quit at all.
2. She grew up in an area and a family where she thinks she can exert her influence through "tough love". (uses phrases like "You're lucky I let you do {xyz**.")
3. This will start the "process" of checking up on me. (Similar to when I got a health club membership earlier this year... making sure I am sticking to my plan.)
4. As in the past, she will compliment me in a way that is condescending. Well, at least I interpreted it as condescending. (e.g., "I am so proud of you-u-u!")

This probably goes way beyond my drinking issues and there are some relationship issues I need to address. She is well intentioned, but lacks self-awareness and has the knack to say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time.

In a nutshell, this could be a challenging weekend. I anticipate that at least some of the above will happen and I will feel anxious, snap back, etc.

If you have advice or information on this topic... or can share your stories on how your significant other reacted to your sobriety attempts, that would be helpful.

Thanks!