Once again, speaking AS the alcoholic (that destroyed my family in the end due to aVERY horrible rock bottom- where I nearly burnt to death and my family cut me loose, understandably) I know my behaviour when actively drinking did not follow rules of logic or morality. The addiction had no rules. Everything revolved around getting booze, drinking it-rinse,repeat. I feathered my own nest- so I had a safe place to drink...until even that did not matter to me at the end. I cannot read your mind or that of anyone else...I urge you to stay safe- not to fall into a co-dependent or an enabling role...as these will have the potential to destroy you both. It is not about fault or blaming or strong and weak with addiction....it just is.
I still suggest you go to al-anon or a support group for YOU.
And support to you.