I did a little reading this morning on AVRT. The 28 bullets. I am going to buy this book, hopefully it is at the bookstore. I have been having a real problem with a certain aspect of my recovery. I am telling myself that I am now shy, anxious..ect. That I cant be outgoing like I was or just be care free, so to speak. I feel up-tight, I guess. I have missed significant work time. I work in a bar, and have to interact with many people and be very outgoing. I have been afraid this is the new me. But, in the same aspect there are times where I get the impulse to be my old self...then I shut it down. The book may answer this question after I read it. But, could this be the AV? I have been having this struggle...well if I take this oxy then I will be care free in my words and personality again...(I know this is obviously the AV) But, I am having a hard struggle on who I really am(I have been using various drugs for over 10years now). Am I really just a shy, introverted person? Or is the AV telling me I am without it? I miss my outgoing self.
Your experience and insight would be appreciated. I am very new to recovery.