Originally Posted by
flyawayfromhere 
I hate how drinking again makes it so hard for me to dissociate the next day. Maybe reading the book again will help.
I've stated this before, but using AVRT between binges becomes progressively more difficult over time, since you are essentially turbo-charging the Beast with each binge, while simultaneously weakening yourself. Read
"The Rationale for Abstinence" and
"The Cross-over effect" on pages 123-124 of TNC.