April,
There is no great mystery to addiction recovery, or to AVRT, for that matter. While I strongly recommend that you put the bottle down long enough to read the book, reflect on what you read, and make a Big Plan, all you really need to answer is this:
What is your plan for your future use of alcohol? Are you going to drink again in this lifetime, or are you not?
When you can answer
"no, I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind," recognize all good feelings that result from that decision as you, and all bad feelings that result as your Beast, you will be free.
Don't wait for a miracle; be one.