Oh TU, if it were last week, that'd probably be the correct assumption that I'm looking for a cop out reason to drink. I'm really actually looking for some hope that you don't need to hit any sort of rock bottom or have alcohol kick the crap out of you some more...because I really can't take anymore of it, kind of at that "desperation" point lately. My curiosity is to see if people who get "bit by their Beast worse" so-to-speak before they stop drinking, end up having an easier time dissociating or even telling off the AV.
What makes me wonder about this is the part about viewing your addiction as immoral to give an extra kick in the ass to the beast. If you ran into a severe moral conflict, such as maybe driving drunk with your child in the car before you decided to stop drinking, it would lead me to assume that telling off the AV would be much easier.
...and if this were true, it might explain why it seems I could not control the AV(not that I haven't done immoral things due to my drinking, just nothing I've had hardcore consequences for) and that I should consider a different method to achieve abstinence rather than get back into AVRT again.