Originally Posted by
Dalia 
I have been reading and following the AVRT threads. Thanks all and TU. They speak to me. I have the RR book and I think I get it, or at least kind of. I will make one and only one big plan. I'm just afraid to do it. I know that is beast.
I spent a lot of time — years — getting around to finally quitting. I went to counselors, kept drinking. I went to meetings, kept drinking. I stopped "until things improved," then went back to drinking. For a while, I kept the RR book on my coffee table, in plain sight, hoping that seeing it every single day might motivate me to finally make a Big Plan and get on with life. Yet, I still kept putting it off, and kept on drinking. In the final analysis, you just have to take the plunge.
You can learn from your struggle in making a Big Plan, though, because you undoubtedly hear a lot of AV noise. The Beast knows what you are considering, and it knows that a Big Plan would be its undoing. It will therefore throw everything at you — including the kitchen sink — to try and dissuade you from doing it. Your Beast will see a Big Plan as a death trap, and it will tell you that you are setting yourself up for a big fall, and that you won't ever be happy again. If you listen carefully, though, the Beast will tell you precisely how to kill it.
The AV will reveal the cardinal rule of addiction:
never say never to the possible future use of alcohol and drugs. In doing so, it also shows you the way out:
say never. You can either heed its words, and stay stuck, or turn the tables on it. If you have good reason to cut back or stop temporarily, you probably also have good reason to quit for good. Ultimately, however, we are free to quit drinking for good, or not, and no one can make that decision for you. Stopping just for today even seems to work for some people, in 12-Step programs or not.
If you want to finally walk free, though, make up your mind. Set your confidence level for lifetime abstinence arbitrarily at 100%, recognize all self-doubt as the Addictive Voice itself, and you will do well. Not that it should matter at all, but I have full faith in your capacity to recover, even if you do not. I would wish you luck, but I know that luck has nothing to do with it. So, instead, best choices to you, Dalia.