Originally Posted by
vinyl 
I'm pretty nervous. Been fighting a good fight and feeling real strong until today. I really feel like I'm going to give in next week. Why am I planning like this and how do I get this out of my head? Thoughts? Help me fight this thing!
What is tripping you up is that you are trying to get rid of the AV, which can't be done. Your job is not to get rid of the AV, or to debate and fight with it, but rather to recognize it and objectify it. Remember, if you have made a Big Plan, then "you" no longer drink, and since addictive desire is not you, but the Beast, then you no longer even want to drink, only your Beast does.
Don't struggle, just maintain the separation. If you hear "I want to drink," change that to "IT, my Beast, wants to drink. Too bad for it." If you don't, and the AV gets a hold of the pronoun "I", you'll start to think that you want to drink, and once that happens, you likely will. Debating or trying to get rid of the AV is the AVRT version of 'white knuckling'. See my post to Peta earlier in the thread on how to separate.
The Beast will always be thinking about "then", and the AV may say things like "sure, you can say never now, but I'll get you then." The thing is, "I will never drink again" is equivalent to "I never now drink" or "I will never drink in the present moment," so when "then" actually comes, it will still be now. Let the Beast worry about then, because if you stay in the now, the "then" will never come. See this post:
This post on relapse anxiety may also help:
Your fear and self-doubt is itself the AV, since it obviously suggests that you might drink. Set your confidence level arbitrarily at 100%. It if drops, even a fraction of a percent, that's your AV, the Beast talking. Just passively recognize it and let it talk, because that's all it can do. It can't hurt you.