Originally Posted by
vinyl 
Hey guys, I just wanted to check in and say hi. AVRT is the method of recovery I've chosen and TU has encouraged me to post in here more, so here I am.
Welcome to the posting side of things, Vinyl.
Originally Posted by
vinyl I'm fine tuning my ability to hear my AV and insure every time it raises it's ugly head I'm listening to the way it undermines me and does it's best to kill me. I've been following that voice through, and it's pretty clear it wants me dead.
While it is absolutely true that the Beast is ruthless and will drive you into the ground if you don't drive it into the ground first, I don't think the Beast is actually trying to kill you. It has no conscience, and is just trying to survive, by doing what it believes is absolutely necessary to live -- getting that drink. The host, and anyone else who gets hurt along the way, are just collateral damage. I don't think it even knows that it will also die.
Originally Posted by
vinyl By the way, not sure if this happens much to you guys, but the last 5 days the AV hasn't popped it's head up even once. Very strange, but it hasn't even popped into my head at all. I figure it's just hiding in a bush somewhere ready to pounce when I'm least expecting it. I'll be ready when it does.
Picture a newly caged wild animal. At first, it will frantically pace back and forth, trying to look for a way to get out of the cage. Eventually, it starts to realize the futility of escape, gets depressed, and becomes resigned to its fate. Then it just mostly lies down, sulks, and sleeps. This is what happens with the Beast. It will try to rattle the cage every so often, but its attempts will get further and further apart. In AVRT, though, Beast or AV activity is neither good nor bad, and a large part of AVRT is learning to live comfortably with desire and to never fear it.
At this point, you need to tighten up all the screws. I recommend you take the time to read through the book carefully, highlighting relevant portions, and that you spend some time on the exercises. You should also read through this thread, and possibly print out any posts you find particularly useful. AVRT is not difficult, but it does pump a lot of information at you, and you do have to learn it. Once incorporated into your thinking, though, AVRT operates like anti-virus software, running in the background protecting you.
GerandTwine recently posted a nice summary of what AVRT is, which I include below. Read up, and save yourself all that trial-and-error.
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
The only articulated recovery program I know of that compliments making a personal oath to become a teetotaler forever is Rational Recovery's AVRT...
In fact, If you think about it and know that your personal oath is indestructible, then you don't even have to learn AVRT, your thinking will eventually, by trial and error (not the error of drinking, just the error of unnecessary thinking), naturally create some thought patterns similar to AVRT, but not necessarily using AVRT jargon.
AVRT helps abstinent people bypass this trial and error-of-thinking process, and get right to the point of addressing the residual desire.