It is important to realize that the addictive voice is more than just a little voice that says "Drink! Now!", and that it is actually an entire persona. This was originally posted in one of the main forums, but the OP gave me permission to re-post here as an example of subtle forms of addictive voice.
The hardest part of quitting was accepting the fact that I could never drink again. At the beginning of my drinking career, I truly enjoyed the feeling it gave me and there are times when I miss that. But toward the end, I could never get that feeling back ... I'd just get stupid drunk and black out. I chased that "buzz" for a long time and ended up in a place where I couldn't even get drunk anymore, but I couldn't get sober either. Now that I AM sober, my alcoholic voice likes to tell me, "It's been almost a month since your last drink .... I'll bet you could get that 'buzz' back now." But today I recognize that that is just my addict wanting its fix and that it will lie to get what it wants. Thankfully, the voice gets fainter every day.
The parts in bold and underlined are what I saw as the addictive voice embedded in the text when I read it. I'll explain...
"I could never drink again."
This statement is the AV itself, because it implies that if you could drink again, that you would do so. Problem is, you certainly can drink again, and you have proven this time and again. The question is not whether you can drink again or not, but rather, whether you
will drink again or not.
"...there are times when I miss that [feeling]. But toward the end, I could never get that feeling back..."
Two things stand out here. The first is some that since addictive desire is not you, but the Beast, you don't miss that feeling -- your Beast does. See these posts for reference:
The second is a classic Beast set-up, because it makes abstinence contingent on not being able to get that nice feeling anymore. All pre-conditions for abstinence are automatically conditions for drinking, and the AV is creating an opening which it will inevitably exploit later by suggesting that it might feel good. The OP is recognizing this tactic to some extent. See this post for reference:
"Thankfully, the voice gets fainter every day."
Believing that AV silence is a good thing is, in fact, AV. While it is true that the AV generally gets fainter over time, this is also a classic Beast set-up. It implies that if the AV did not get fainter, that one might not be able to abstain. The AV may still 'peak' from time to time, even years later, so in AVRT, the presence or absence of AV is neither good nor bad. See these posts for reference:
Sneaky, huh?
