Originally Posted by
californiapoppy I have already gone through promising myself that I won't ever drink again. ... I also thought that I always honored my promises, so I promised myself I would never drink again. That one didn't work and it sort of shook my foundations, I don't believe myself anymore. ...
This is clearly the AV, as TU has pointed out. it isn't even logical. I think it is impossible for a temporarily abstaining adult to not know whether they really made a Big Plan. As to "don't believe myself", I don't know how to tell myself a lie without knowing it's a lie. I don't know how to not believe myself?
I think, in a more generic vein, by going over what thoughts occurred during the following process (divided up into twelve steps) we can relate clearly how we had not made a Big Plan in the first place if we consummate step 12?
1 - We recognized the strong desire to get that same deep pleasure from drinking alcohol.
2 - We had somewhat forgotten the pains resulting from past drinking, which is biologically normal.
3 - We decided to stop what we were doing in order to go and obtain an alcoholic beverage.
4 - We planned the situation to see how to keep the negative consequences to a minimum.
5 - We made sure it was in a drinkable container.
6 - We decided to lift up the container.
7 - We watched it closely as it came within inches of our eyes and nose.
8 - We made sure it properly made contact with our lips without dribbling or spilling.
9 - We opened our mouths and tipped the container to let the diluted ethanol flow into our mouths.
10 - We tasted the diluted ethanol as it entered our mouths.
11 - We had a nervous sensation throughout our bodies caused by the tingling in the mouth.
12 - We swallowed the diluted alcohol anticipating the absolutely wonderful pleasure it would give as evidenced by the even stronger tingling sensation throughout our bodies caused by the swallowing.
This is NOT the anatomy of a relapse, slip, or anything that happened TO us. It is the anatomy of our willfully taking a drink.
What WERE the thoughts that were happening alongside these steps?
How could someone with a Big Plan do them all?
Of course they couldn't.
Someone with a Big Plan can intentionally go through the first seven steps to expose their Beast as a mushy quadriplegic about the size of a few raw oysters, and then dump the booze or store it for doing it again later, or for others to drink.
Someone here on SR about a month ago said they went through 11 of the above steps as way to expose the weakness of their Beast. Then they spit out the booze. Personally, I would not recommend that (unless you are a professional wine taster? I dunno?)
Originally Posted by
californiapoppy ...But without a doubt, this is THE way to stop. I finally have a program that follows my way of thinking.
It is so absolutely possible to dominate whether the very unique willful event of swallowing ethanol ever happens again. It does not sneak up and mug you; it's not a germ you can't see, or a creature that bites you when you sleep.
Also, it silenced my Beast more when I decided it was morally WRONG for me to EVER drink alcohol again.