Terminally Unique

Do read the materials, since I can't possibly cover everything that is in the book, and I don't want to have to re-hash things already covered. That said, what you are essentially asking is how AVRT 'works', which is something others might be wondering, so I'll see if I can answer. Just realizing that your AV is suggesting that you drink will not keep you from drinking, nor will it keep you from 'white-knuckling'.

Indeed, many addicted people have debates in their head over whether they should or should not drink in any given situation, doing a cost-benefit analysis every time they see a beer. In all probability, you will be 'white knuckling' as long as you leave the option to drink on the table, unless the desire to drink happens to magically go away, which is most unlikely. It is worth noting that AVRT is not about removing desire, or decreasing it, which is what addiction treatment is supposed to do.

This is where the Big Plan comes in. The Big Plan may appear to be just another 'swearing off' exercise, but it is actually more than that, because it forces a breakdown of the addictive mentality, a separation that is necessary to end the struggle. I'm sure you've heard of the 'hitting bottom' idea, where, assuming you don't die first, you have a moment of clarity and realize that you've had enough. What actually happens is that as the losses mount, so does ambivalence about using, and the addictive voice begins to break down.

The person beings to realize that what the AV is saying may not be their true thinking, that it may not be 'them', as it appears to be. People may spend decades in this purgatory, going back and forth over whether or not to keep listening to the AV, and they will either die from the addiction, or the AV breaks down completely. By 'break down', I mean that the person finally realizes that the AV is not them. What the Big Plan does is force this breakdown, known as the I/It split in AVRT.

The structural model is useful in that it helps make sense of what is going on by pointing out that your body (limbic system) is talking to you in your mind's eye, but this understanding in and of itself may not do the trick. In actual practice, it is the I/It split, where addictive desire is not I, but IT, along with the understanding that "I" don't drink, that will do the trick. As long as you believe there will be a 'battle' between two parts of your brain, there will be.

You mentioned 'fighting' with the Beast for hours with that finger wagging exercise, but that exercise is merely to prove to you that desire cannot move your hands, and should only take five minutes. Put a beer in front of you, tell the Beast that if it can move your fingers, you'll get good and loaded. The Beast won't be able to do this, which proves that you are in full control, and that IT is powerless. No Big Plan means no I/It split, no AVRT, and lots of 'white knuckling'. So, you need the BP to force this split.

Once this I/It split occurs, the Addictive Voice will be forced to address you in the second person ("you need a drink") or the first person plural ("we need a drink"). At this point, its cover is blown, since obviously it isn't you talking, or you would thing "I need a drink," and recognition becomes almost effortless. The AV may still try the old "I" game every so often, but AVRT provides a mechanism for dealing with that called Addiction Diction.

From this point on, all you need to do is recognize the AV and objectify it as 'not you', and it will fall silent. At first, this detachment will take some conscious thought, but eventually it becomes automatic, like driving a car. You don't even have to think about where the accelerator, break, turn signal, gear shifter, or gear positions are.

Your job henceforth is to stand guard and (passively!) wait for any thinking, imagery, or feeling, that supports, or suggests the possible future use of alcohol or other drugs, ever. With a BP in place, this becomes quite literally effortless, since 'you' no longer drink or use. It's like watching for a red ball coming down a conveyor belt of ping pong balls.

The first time around, I thought this AVRT stuff sounded nice, and I knew I had to knock it off to get out of the deep hole I was in. I still had this lingering idea that a year would probably suffice, though, and I could re-evaluate then. That little tiny hole in my BP was my undoing. I lasted a little over thirty days, talking back to the AV, doing a cost-benefit analysis every time I got an urge, thinking through the drink, etc. Not very pleasant. In contrast, now I just recognize the AV as 'not me', don't talk back to it, and it falls silent.

So, my advice for you is to read the book, read through these threads, and then read through the book again a second time. This is because your Beast intuitively understands that never drinking again is very bad (for IT), and your AV will actively prevent you from seeing some things the first time around. Then, do one single cost-benefit analysis and decide if you want to keep living like this or not. If you don't, then make a Big Plan for unconditional, lifetime abstinence.

If you are doing it right, with no loopholes, you'll feel your Beast struggle, and your AV will probably start firing back with both barrels.