Peta

Hello everyone

Comforting/encouraging to see TU and Soberlicious and others I recognise on here

Background
I was here in January, did the crash course, read all the threads and read through the book once. Was sober for two weeks and drank again.

This all may sound sac religious (I know this isnt a religious technique but you get my gist - RE AVRT doesnt allow for relapses) but it is my honest experience and I truly want to be an abstinent person so I've decided to swallow my pride and come back on here because the sobriety I had using AVRT was more peaceful than I've ever experienced in AA etc.

What Happened

Basically - I did make a big plan but probably never entirely believed it (ie listened to my AV) then at the end of my second week had this overwhelming beast attack to drink,, was at the hairdressers and they had all these party shots of people drinking and having fun - imagery to drink.

Came back here after that but didnt stay long and didnt fully read the book again.

Drank, spoke with people in the fellowship who strongly urged me to go back to meetings and 'work' the program again etc that my 'relapses' proved how powerless I really am and a hopeless alcoholic.

Getting Sober Again

The problem is I've been going to meetings every since (Jan) and have even started working with a new sponsor and I just keep drinking. Everytime i'm in meetings you hear a different version of how to get sober, there's no powerful message or strategy like with AVRT and they're all just one drink away from being drunk. It's like now i've experienced AVRT I cant go back and I see how they're all just totally enslaved to their addictive voices.

The final straw for me was when my new sponsor kept trying to convince me that I had been sexually abused in my childhood and that is what is stopping me from getting sober because i need to remember and release the anger from it. I can see that the Beast LOVES all this damaged history crap and loves reasons to keep drinking. Whereas the 'I' the 'real me' actually cringed when she said this and was like GET A GRIP WOMAN you know that you drink because you are addicted to the effect it gives you. That's it.

Stopping for Good

So here I am ,, back again

I wish I had committed entirely to my big plan because now while I see that AVRT is the way to go because when I observe others around me who have stopped drinking permanently without the use of AA or recovery groups I can see they adopted a disconnect technique in order to do it. Drinking is just a 'non issue' for them now. As Jack Trimpey points out, this method of recovery is what people have been doing to rid themselves of addiction for hundreds of years. HOWEVER, because I screwed up it's like I'm fearing that the 'magic' and simplicity of this program is no longer available to me - this is pure AV though isnt it?

Am also working my way through Jack's book again and nearly finished reading all of thread 4.

TU your input would be much appreciated. Do you know of people who didnt get it to begin with but then got it and it stuck? for ever?