Old 09-10-2012, 08:55 PM
  # 175 (permalink)  
ReadyAndAble
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Totally, Dalek. That's what I meant—that when I said I disassociated from "my feelings", I was being careless; what I meant was that I disassociated from the Beast's feelings.

This hits home:

if my mood lifted, even before drinking, but by just imagining it, then I knew that it was Beast depression
At the time, I wasn't yet hip to AVRT, and so I didn't connect the process of "mourning alcohol" with the Beast. But I do remember that before I quit, the mere thought of drinking was enough to lift my... er, the Beast's... spirits. In fact by the end, that was probably the only real pleasure left in it—the expectation of alcohol. After the first sip, it was just the same old exercise in futility.
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