Originally Posted by
ReadyAndAble 
What exactly are you reluctant to give up? What so great about drinking—not idealized fantasies about drinking, but the actual realities of your drinking—that you'd let it hold you back?
Or maybe it's the fear of sobriety?
Good question.
What I have been doing with limited "success" is silencing myself from fully communicating my worries, frustrations and dissatisfaction to my SO. This has done nothing to make things with him any better, but it has been a strategy to prevent me from being a bother. I expect a whole lot less from him while drinking than I would sober.
I don't want to get into all of that here, but did want to answer the question for myself as much as for anyone else. Which is certainly why you asked.
One thing I will say is that when looking at this from the perspective of AVRT, it would seem that while I love my SO with all of my heart, I think AV actually
needs him.