Originally Posted by
Sohard 
I guess I do sorta care and want it to go away. It bothers me. Before I quit drinking, I would have said there were many areas of my life which could be improved, all areas of concern caused by drinking. Now that I actually have quit drinking, the only area of my life I wish was different is that I wish I could drink. What?! That doesn’t make sense! I quit drinking, life improved, and I still want to be able to drink. But it’s true - I want to be able to drink every once in a while. Of course, if I could do that, I wouldn’t be an alcoholic, and if I wasn’t an alcoholic, I wouldn’t really care if I couldn’t drink every once in a while because I wouldn’t need to satiate the craving and scratch the itch that an alcoholic does through drinking.
Basically, I want to stop missing drinking, plain and simple. I know it’s my beast, I won’t give it power, but I want it to shut up.
Sohard,
This is ALL Addictive Voice. You are not using AVRT here. You are having what is called a “Restlessness” “Beast Attack”. (p. 155 of RR: TNC)
Simply put, because you are not using AVRT, “the Beast may be affirming and gleeful” that YOU are missing “the opportunity to drink.”
By not using AVRT, IT has surrounded your Big Plan and is desperately trying to chip away and convince you that you know you lied to yourself when you made it (which is actually not possible (I still don’t know how to lie to myself)).
Your AV will also tell you that using the pronoun switching filter of AVRT is a silly thing to do. It’s all really just you, and, yes, YOU really want to drink.
You do know, right now, whether you really did make that “unbreakable promise” the Big Plan. If you really didn’t do it yet, you still can. Making the Big Plan really is a deeply personal choice to take future choosing COMPLETELY off the table.
Your Beast also wants you to BE a forever alcoholic instead of a common teetotaler.