Originally Posted by
Sohard 
Well, it's working! I'm haven't had a drink in 113 days, and I actually stopped counting (to get this number, I had to look at a Quit App I downloaded on my phone at the start of this in order to keep track!). I'm so grateful to be at this point. I must admit though, while I feel ENORMOUS relief over being sober, sometimes I miss the kind of drugged relief/escape that only a drug - such as alcohol - can provide. Does that ever 100% go away? I know it's my beast and I won't listen. I'm just wondering if it ever 100% goes away at all moments in time for anyone. It generally just hits me at night sometimes, which I guess isn't too surprising.
I cannot recall the sensation of being under the influence of alcohol or any other intoxicating drug except opioids which I needed following surgery almost two years ago. So, it has gone away 100% except for the hydrocodone pleasure, which I can still recall - somewhat. These are simple observations that I can instantaneously run through an AV filter and move on.
Your enormous relief is the Abstinence Commitment Effect, but your AV wants its oxygen and is trying to get you to feel that YOU miss the pleasure such that it would be better to not even remember that pleasure at all.
You are recognizing your AV as an anticipation of when will this unfulfilled desire end. And you recognize that as inconsequential.
I recognize my AV wanting to procure and use hydrocodone illegally. This is a sign of health, not disease. My appetites for pleasure/survival are functioning OK, and of course, I will not act upon that particular one. Recalling that pleasure is just as harmless as not remembering the sensations of booze or pot, or even caffeine or nicotine, which the case with me.