There are a lot of qualifiers in your writing.
But I can see the adult, mature, abstinent person.
You show many signs of recognizing and separating.
But your Beast is very strong. Very strong.
Always remember, ANY suggestion that drinking is a good thing is not and never can be you. Drinking suggestions are always it.
And always remember that human beings rule beasts, easily and naturally. All you need to do is make a Big Plan, proceed with 100 percent confidence and avoid those other things the book warns about avoiding.
PS - There is no such thing as a half-hearted Big Plan. That is just the AV barking. If it is a Big Plan, it is from you. If it is from the Beast, it is not a Big Plan, but rather a vague hope with tons of drinking clauses.