Originally Posted by
ProfessorD 
I keep slipping up because I desperately want to feel relaxed and calm. Drinking is the only thing that makes me feel that way. I've been looking for/trying all the substitutes--exercise, meditation, baths, other hobbies, social activities, etc. Maybe I need to switch strategies and just come to terms with the fact that I can't have alcohol, and there isn't going to be any magical substitute for that feeling that I crave. Dunno. These are just my thoughts for today from the hole.
Can you try & step outside the hamster wheel nd consider that drinking is actually
contributing to your sense of not being relaxed and calm Prof D?
I wasn't able to get relaxed and calm for quite a while after I quit because I was in a long term self perpetuating cycle where anxiety led to me drinking and not drinking led to anxiety.
D