20 yrs ago I stopped drinking for 4 yrs attended AA and was very involved with commitments. Looking back to see that I was a dry drunk who never took the first step. I was angry that everyone else was getting away with drinking and it just kept gnawing at me. My life did get back in the outside but inside I was the same guy and it was only a matter of time.
I came back to AA six months ago. Alcohol conquered me. First couple of months wanted to drink everyday. But I didn’t. I knew the game of over. I ran out of time with my drinking and that’s ok. I guess I stopped fighting and I feel so at ease right now. It’s hard for me to explain but I hope this helps.