Oh my god, I thought I would die from my anxiety just a few months ago. Started taking benzos to help with the withdrawals. Bad idea! After 50 so days without alcohol, the anxiety is so so so much better. It's still there but easily managed and not the full blown panic attacks i was experiencing. And I flushed the pills.
I love my meetings now. Took quite a few meetings before i picked a sponsor but once I did, my recovery community took off. I got a job doing everything I've ever wanted, due to a connection through my sponsor. I have new friends my age due to AA. I used to spend Sundays in bed, dying from the hangover and withdrawals but now I look forward to my Sunday night meeting. This Sunday is an "eating meeting" to celebrate an old timer who was 28 years! I've already got my dessert planned and can't wait!
I say stick with it. At first I internally rolled my eyes at the prayers and chants and holding hand stuff but now I don't mind it. I'm still not close to everyone but I know eventually these people will be my family.
Much love to you, congrats on taking those first steps. It took me being honest with my mom and gram for me to get here too. Once you have a little accountability, it's much easier to stay looking forward than looking back.