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Old 04-23-2018, 04:28 PM
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Buckley3
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 589
It's Official

Sorry for the click bait title. Can't help myself.

Welp, it's official though - I'm moving. Signed the lease to the new pad today. It's less than a 10 min drive to my office. Modified the lease to pick up the keys tomorrow vs. May 1st. That gives me a bit more time to move some boxes.

Good news is that it's tiny. Nice, but tiny. Brand new and never lived in. Cheaper too. But the tiny thing means most of the move process will involve me throwing stuff away instead of carting a bunch of useless stuff. I'm already in a better place and feeling the freedom that comes with detaching from material baggage.

So, work to do yes, but over the weekend I found I became very at peace with my decision and how I'm going to handle it. I'm also more or less at peace with the inevitable punishment coming later in the summer when the OWI thing is resolved now that I've done everything I can do to preserve the basics - a home and a career.

Ironically, and I doubt coincidence, my AV raged at me harder than at any point in my 8 weeks+. Again, not an immediate threat - I still have enough legal motivation to stay clean that I'm solid. But it's projecting me forward - after the crap. And I'm weak.

I saw a few scenarios in my mind's eye on the drive home and I know - I could feel - just how weak my willpower was. Scary.

So now that I've got most of the wreckage from the accident more or less stabilized and in a place I can move forward from it's time to get to work seriously on my sobriety and make that more the focus. To date I've been all consumed with getting and making arrangements - new wheels, attorney, informing people who matter at work, moving, etc.. I think today really marks the transition where I put the sobriety thing in it's proper place - at the top. Stay tuned.

B
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