MG,
Smoking is a tough one. The way you describe it as such a pleasure I can see why it is so hard for you to quit. You have made it as precious as food and water! If you haven’t yet maybe get a copy of Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking from the library. It might help you reframe the value you are giving to smoking.
About Never. It is a big and scary word. To say you will never smoke or drink alcohol again can be difficult to really believe. I choose to use ‘now’ instead of ‘never’. As in ‘I don’t drink in the now (or in the present moment). To me I can certainly not drink or smoke right now. When I get to the future it will then be the ‘now’ and I don’t drink in the now.
Maybe I just confused the issue, sorry if I did.