AlericB

I think to be happy and feel secure in your abstinence you have to find that part of you that wants 'never'. This can only be done for finding the reasons why you would rather be abstinent. This could be something simple - in my case it was to save a marriage or more complex such as to regain a sense of self-respect.

I don't buy into the argument that says if your abstinence is dependent on a reason then it is not secure because what if that reason no longer held? What if my marriage failed even after I stopped drinking? I would then look for another reason to stay sober such as so I'll be in a good shape to meet someone else .

I think the precise opposite to this argument is true. I could be abstinent just for the sake of it with no motivating reasons but I would be much happier being abstinent for good reasons. I am a person, not a logic machine. The truth for me is that I am more likely to succeed in something if I believe in the reasons why I am doing it. This applies to quitting just as much as to anything else. I think it's rather an academic debate anyway because it's not as if good reasons are ever hard to find .

So the word 'Never' is not a daunting thing because at every moment in your life you will always be staying with your plan to quit for good reasons, ones that makes you happier than abandoning your plan could ever do.