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Old 04-07-2018, 03:25 PM   #3 (permalink)

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,262
Hi Awuh,
Good to see you and thank you for your input.

At the same time I think we should keep in mind is that these same folks are much more vulnerable to stress in the early stages of recovery.
See, I just don't agree. I feel like that is a blanket statement that comes from prevailing ideas about addiction that are so ingrained in our society that they are stated as matters of fact. Are there even "stages of recovery"? For many of us who believe in permanent abstinence, there are no stages. You either quit, or you don't.

A highly contentious discussion can easily perceived as unsupportive, and this is exactly what these new folks do not need.
Again, with an eye on permanent abstinence based recovery, ending my addiction was about finding information, not support. I wasn't looking for someone to tell me they understood, I was looking for someone to tell me how in the Sam Hill I could stop drinking. So, if I read things where people appeared contentious, and weren't presenting information that I could apply to my problem, then I moved on. If they appeared contentious, and the discourse was making me think about how I could solve my problem, then I could continue reading. I did not want people censoring their thoughts, any more than I wanted them not drink around me when I quit, lest I relapse.

I suppose that another overriding idea about ending addiction may play a part as well, is that support is required to get through this. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to hear kind words from others, I'm not saying I'm against that...I'm saying the idea that one must have information packaged in a nice soft padded envelope and anything else could make ending their addiction harder seems weird to me. Each person who finds themselves facing an addiction is not the same. They don't react to stress the same way, they don't all think that spirited debate is frightening. I think kind of stereotyping is actually what keeps people from finding answers to solve their problems.
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