Old 04-05-2018, 07:42 AM
  # 378 (permalink)  
Wholesome
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
I guess I do sorta care and want it to go away. It bothers me. Before I quit drinking, I would have said there were many areas of my life which could be improved, all areas of concern caused by drinking. Now that I actually have quit drinking, the only area of my life I wish was different is that I wish I could drink. What?! That doesn’t make sense! I quit drinking, life improved, and I still want to be able to drink. But it’s true - I want to be able to drink every once in a while. Of course, if I could do that, I wouldn’t be an alcoholic, and if I wasn’t an alcoholic, I wouldn’t really care if I couldn’t drink every once in a while because I wouldn’t need to satiate the craving and scratch the itch that an alcoholic does through drinking.

Basically, I want to stop missing drinking, plain and simple. I know it’s my beast, I won’t give it power, but I want it to shut up.
I know what you mean SoHard. I still get occasional twinges of nostalgia, that's OK, they are just thoughts and as long as they remain unacted upon they can do no harm. I think it's all about acceptance. I've accepted that I will never drink again. I don't tell myself that I "can't" because of course I can, I'm a grown woman and can do what I please. However I have chosen to never drink again, even if occasionally, I still have thoughts to the contrary.

It gets easier, over time those thoughts start to seem less and less important. At 3-4 months, thoughts of how I wasn't drinking were still at the front of my mind a lot, and I didn't feel like I fit into my old life anymore, but I hadn't created a life without drinking in it yet.
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