Update
We fought today and I asked him to leave. I'm heading interstate to spend time with my sister and I said I want him gone by the time I get back. I spoke to a counsellor and she suggested that him spending time apart from me might prove to him that he's not a helpless victim and that he can do something to help himself. And of course he could just get worse. But I guess that's a risk we have to take.
From past experience, though, it's hard to get him to leave. I pointed out to him that when he stayed with his sister last time I kicked him out, he didn't drink at all. What does that say? If we stay under the same roof right now things are just going to get worse. I'm going to become more and more bitter and angry, then our marriage won't have a snowflake's chance in ...
I've said that if he can pull himself together we can talk about resuming the marriage.
Any ideas about how to manage the next steps? Has anyone been in this situation?