When I make a “promise” and state it out loud or in writing to others, I already understand the complexity and uncertain outcomes that might occur in relation to follow-through necessary to keep that “promise”. I’m not alone in that sort of understanding, it’s common sense.
For instance, while I don’t remember the touchy-feely wording of my quite short marriage ceremony, I did know that it represented significant legal changes in my societal status regarding taxes, property, earnings, children, etc, etc., along with the expectation of some new and various behaviors and behavioral boundaries - complex, for sure. I considered my marriage ceremony to be better described as not containing a marriage vow, but an agreement - more like in the term “prenuptial agreement”.
When I think of my “unbreakable promise” “I will never drink/drug again.” I become immediately aware of my mouth, my hands, and my skin. This immediately reminds me of the degree of control I have over swallowing or inhaling a prepared substance or puncturing my skin with a needle. My mouth is one inch from my nose and two inches from my eyes. My hands only function right in front of my face. Getting alcohol/drugs into my blood is the most deliberate and conscience-connected type of behavior possible.
Promising to not put alcohol/drugs into one’s blood is such an extremely specific and narrowly defined INACTION requiring only a split second of thought, that it can be very comfortably and redundantly stated as an “unbreakable promise” - even within a culture that tries to emphasize the opposite - thinking it is important to tell drunkards seeking a method of recovery that there is no such thing as an unbreakable promise.
I’m reminded of the story Horace Greeley told. As a teetotaling teenager, he was attacked by several of his peers and physically forced to swallow alcohol. That anecdote is symbolic of anti-pledge-taking forces from the 1820’s all the way up to the present day.
My conclusion here, then, is, what post #2 presents as two similar “promises” worthy of some sort of equivalence is actually a straw man - that people breaking a marriage promise is like people breaking an abstinence promise. People know from the get-go their marriage verbage is more “agreement” than “promise” due to so, so many conditions needed for making it work. They were not lying to themselves in their ceremony if they ended up divorced.
Getting divorced is thousands of miles apart from “Oh, screw it. FORGET QUITTING! I’m going to get a six pack. I can manage it. It’s Friday. Here we go. I’ll bring it back home. Three cans tonight, three cans tomorrow.” And then my mind would absent itself from the universe, and my altered mind would return into existence and decide on a case for the weekend, minimum.
“Was I lying to myself?” NOPE. Been there, done that. “I knew I SHOULD never drink again.” And “I sure didn’t want to feel this painful wiped out type of hangover ever again.” until several days later when recalling the pain sensations had diminished.
It took the Big Plan, an “unbreakable promise”, to finally and quickly end it. End what? Ending the most narrowly specific, deliberate, conscience-laden, in-my-face type of behavior possible - getting mind-altering chemicals into my blood.