Sara,
When i was a drunk i used the coc as an excuse to drink.
Once i learned i was drinking to maintain my damaged state i was able to work through the suffering of healing and rewiring.
I am cautiously optimistic about my new life of sobriety. I love that i can entry level thrive on sobriety w out drugs or the need for f2f support.
SR is my support. Thanks to technology i can get strengthened from my bed at 6 am.
I always have to remember it takes many years to heal and even then, relapse looms. I have to remember that i am irreversibly damaged from my drinking. I probably will never feel totally perfect. That is ok. I will take whatever God will allow.
It is a lifestyle change.
Even now i try to temper my temptation to make big changes in my world. I was a drunk for so long, i haven't had anytime to learn how to act as a sober person.
It is all still so new.
Thanks.