Yesterday, I met with a professional and discussed the nature of my shame.
This person knows extensively about my situation and about me and about the other person(s) involved.
I was honest with this person when conveying what I had said - the comment that gave me so much shame. It gave me so much relief to here her tell me that she knew I was a kind person and that based on the circumstances she could understand how I could say what I said. She also said that she knew I didn't mean it the way it came out and that it was a statement made in desperation/frustration.
It gave me such a relief to hear her say that. Though I'm still dealing with the fallout from my comment - which is serious and I cannot undo it. I was comforted by her words.
I'm trying now to move past this. I don't think I will make amends to this person anytime soon. It still feels too raw. I'm too hurt. I've already paid a huge cost for my actions. I need to heal myself.
I'm grateful to this forum. Thank you for listening.