Originally Posted by
JeffreyAK 
I think this is an important point, and where I was at the end when I finally did stop. It didn't make me happy, in fact it made me go through horrible withdrawals, I threw up non-stop for days, I couldn't sleep, I could barely walk, I had disturbing auditory hallucinations.... It was hell, and the phase that followed was only somewhat better, but I did it anyways because I felt I had to do it or I was going to die drunk, soon, even knowing that there was one sure-fire way to make the hell stop - buy some more alcohol and drink it.
This reminds me of deciding to get a tonsillectomy at 40 years old. Every doctor, and everyone I talked to who'd had done it later in life told me it was going to be absolute hell. A friend who had two kids told me it was "more painful than childbirth." But I had been getting strep throat several times a year for my entire life, and had then been getting it every other week for about a year. I was excited to get the surgery done anyway. I was in the most pain I've ever felt afterwards. I had to be rushed to the emergency room the next day and kept under supervision because I was bleeding out of the wounds. I was in incredible pain for 3 weeks and unable to do anything. Yet I was excited at the prospect of a life free from constant strep infections. The few weeks of pain was the price of getting there. Happiness was my motivation, and that's all we're saying in TFM. I made the choice to endure this pain for greater happiness in life.
If I didn't believe there was a good chance that I'd be living a happier life after the surgery and painful recovery period I was promised,
I wouldn't have undergone the surgery - it was elective as I was often reminded.
Likewise, if a heavy substance user doesn't think a change to their habit will ultimately result in greater happiness than continuing, they will not undergo any discomfort to make it happen. You have to be motivated. We're trying to help people find that motivation in TFM.