I work in the corporate world. It could be ran better, so there are MANY things that drive me crazy. I usto get really angry and be the outspoken advocate. Now, I have changed it up based on the advise of my mentor.
He told me that I need to remember if my temper gets out of check I am discrediting myself and how I am viewed as a manager. That I need to hold what I say for 24 hours before saying (or emailing) it, and to make sure it is phrased in a way that makes me look competent. To remember that I am wearing my "manager shoes" at all times, and my behavior should reflect that.
Learning to communicate better in my home has come with counseling. I was much the same. I would stuff things until I did not, then they came out in a way that is not constructive at all. If you put others on the defense, they are never listening to you, and you to them. Everyone is busy thinking of what they will say next.
I read books on communication. I went to counseling. I journal. I practice difficult conversations on my sister (lucky her lol) as she is trained in a field with specialty training in communication. And...last, but definitely not least, I learned to let a few things go. That not every single thing has to be a battle. I don't want to be a right fighter. I want to have happy and healthy relationships with those around me, and sometimes that means if it's not a huge deal, you let it go.
I hope this helps friend!