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Old 03-26-2018, 06:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
thequest
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,011

Warning to seniors thinking about financially helping out addicted family member


Warning #1-long and rantish.

Warning # 2 Caution to seniors & older parents/relatives of adult children with addiction issues. Think long and hard about financially helping out a addicted family member especially if it does not include rehab. Senior family is now paying the price for taking care of many years of bills for an addicted/alcoholic family member. Not rehab but bills. And was too afraid to ask them to payback at least part of the 'loan' because they felt it might pressure them too much.

That generosity is now the difference between financial stability and being able to stay in their home. It was their choice and they were warned but they not only gave them money. loans etc but the addict/alcoholic never went to rehab or changed their ways. They also took pity on them again helping them again with a car for the job was supposed to save their life turn them around. We lost count of the bottles and cans in the trash around the holidays.

And the senior is more worried about their bills yet still thinks they did nothing wrong with the alcoholic/addict. But the dollar amount is literally the difference between financial stability and having to downsize and sweatout most of their bills. Now they're relying on other family for 'help' which will eventually morph from a lot of paid odd bills, jobs etc to full financial assistance. The senior had to apply for financial assistance and special tax breaks that hurt their pride to say the least. Other family is now going to have to help them stay of out of public housing and/or nursing home. One addict/alcoholic is on the verge of dragging down several family members.

Point being another story/example of why one does not enable or give an alcoholic/addict money. Enabling is real. Not enabling can work but takes work and might seem like tough love or lack of compassion but it is not. If nothing else the alcoholic/addict should be paying for the own demise.

DO NOT ENABLE THE ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT WITH MONEY no matter how 'sad' or 'distressing' their STORY is.
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