Part of the conversation from her was "please don't leave me." To which my response has been "it's too early to have this conversation. You need to get medically better first. And, then, you've got to get over this thing because it is literally killing you" (Dr. says he thinks liver will be ok with medication and abstinence, but keep heading down this road and . . .. ).
I said, "the plan after you leave this hospital is to go to [name of rehab], right?"
And she said "I don't want to go to [rehab center], but I have to go."
I dunno . . . left me deflated. Sounded like "less than rock bottom." And if nearly dying wasn't rock bottom . . . well, the next level is, in fact, the grave.
What do you say to someone who is medically as weak as a new born kitten right now??
The only thing I can think of is: I'm not doing this again. The kids aren't doing this again. We thought you were dead/going to die. In my head, I'd started "writing" her eulogy. I was pissed off; I cried; I was going through the stages of grieving and loss.
I don't even want to talk about "us" until she has, at least, 1 year of no relapse recovery under her belt.
I also feel chitty for saying that while she's laying in a hospital bed with tubes running in and out of her everywhere.
Heart goes out to you. If it were me I think I would try to keep things as simple as possible. She detoxed but that doesnt mean her brain function is normal, or her thinking is anywhere clear/rational in terms of her addiction and the damage its caused. I would probably focus on what you know to be true. You care as evidenced by being there to visit. This may be all you can offer truthfully at this point. I would try to reinforce with positivity - there is a plan in place for rehab and following that path leads to hope for her health and all other aspects of her life. I wouldn't worry too much about her "reluctance" about rehab. I agree with the "Im sorry you feel that way" so her feelings are recognized but not challenged. Its a scary thought and she may have trouble being able to conceive how it can change her life, or how she will feel once sober and healthy.