What to say to AW in bad shape in Hospital??
A few days back I posted a new thread called "The Face of Death." Long story short: AW went to hospital probably trying to get medically detoxed although, per doctor, official admission was for bladder infection monitor for detox.
Anyway it was a bad detox - really bad. A week ago they called in a rapid response team and put her in the Critical Care Unit. Lungs, liver, kidneys all going south. They placed her on a ventitlator so they could get the issues sorted out.
The good news is: it worked. They've taken her off the ventilator and, medically, her body is starting to slowly recover.
She's still technically in the CCU but opens her eyes, seems to be oriented (knows who people are, follows commands) 99% of the time with an occassional "WTF" - that I attribute to the heavy sedation she was on (she's been literally out of it for nearly 2 weeks). She can speak, but just barely and it's sort of a mumble.
Anyway, right before all of this, I'd moved out of the house. Before coming to work today, I stopped by the hospital to check on her condition.
Part of the conversation from her was "please don't leave me." To which my response has been "it's too early to have this conversation. You need to get medically better first. And, then, you've got to get over this thing because it is literally killing you" (Dr. says he thinks liver will be ok with medication and abstinence, but keep heading down this road and . . .. ).
I said, "the plan after you leave this hospital is to go to [name of rehab], right?"
And she said "I don't want to go to [rehab center], but I have to go."
I dunno . . . left me deflated. Sounded like "less than rock bottom." And if nearly dying wasn't rock bottom . . . well, the next level is, in fact, the grave.
What do you say to someone who is medically as weak as a new born kitten right now??
The only thing I can think of is: I'm not doing this again. The kids aren't doing this again. We thought you were dead/going to die. In my head, I'd started "writing" her eulogy. I was pissed off; I cried; I was going through the stages of grieving and loss.
I don't even want to talk about "us" until she has, at least, 1 year of no relapse recovery under her belt.
I also feel chitty for saying that while she's laying in a hospital bed with tubes running in and out of her everywhere.
MCESaint