I liked the distinction between wanting to "use moderately" and wanting to be a "moderate user".
I remember when I quit smoking several years ago one of the thoughts that really clicked with me and I believe made it possible was something I read in a give up smoking book. This was that our need to feel free is fundamental to who we are as persons and is greater even than our perceived need for nicotine, which is quite a claim!
So, if we tell ourselves that we "can't" smoke anymore we'll feel a sense of loss of freedom and there will be an impulse to smoke again just to show ourselves that we are free. The book recommended seeing it as a choice instead and to say "While I am free to smoke, I choose not to" to avoid this sense of deprivation, and this worked for me.