His mom can be a little dramatic about things, which drives my husband crazy (almost literally) but it doesn’t bother me for some reason.
The problem I’m also struggling with is that she doesn’t know about any of the recent events. And he doesn’t want to tell her. I feel like she needs to understand the situation before I move in there. I don’t want her to think I’m at fault or I’m being dramatic etc. but he doesn’t want to tell her about the medication, smoking, etc and it’s his mom. She doesn’t even know he’s on antidepressants. He’s terrified of her and not seeming perfect to her. She does know about him being an alcoholic, therapy, etc.
My ex had a similar attitude, and so I never told his parents the worst. That ended up with us dancing to his tune. He manipulated situations in order to play us off of one another and keep all eyes off his drinking.
Al-Anon helped me to step away from this. His parents, after they finally saw how bad he was for themselves, also detached from the craziness. I think they may have thumbed through some of the literature I sent them when I was, um, maybe overzealous in my "recommendations" that they check out a meeting.
But until everyone knew the entire truth of the situation, none of us could let go. It was too easy to get pulled into the manipulative dance.