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Old 03-19-2018, 07:32 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Spence7471
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 219
So I can share what I did with my wife...

She went into detox under her medical plan... final bill to her was around $3000. That is her bill, and she will have to pay it or not.

Rehab was paid for under our insurance, with about $10k out-of-pocket for me... I paid it upfront and was able to get secured pricing not to exceed the amount agreed upon. The facility ate whatever was not covered by the insurance. Now that $10k I have told my wife is her's to repay. She had some cash from her final paychecks which I used to pay down her amount owing to me.

Sober Living... same deal as the rehab. But if they are there for more than 1 month, they are required to get a job and that is used to pay the rent. Also, many places have sliding scales that are based upon income.

Then there are all the other misc bills, for meds, dr visits, bills that ran late, back overdrafts, etc... Those are all her's to pay when and if she can find employment to repay. Some of the places she owes have agreed to payment plans, etc... just need to call and work them out.

There will also be the requirement to make amends to those that she stole from to support her addiction... not sure what the financial cost was there.

As for pets, she had two dogs... long story, but in the end, I gave them back to their previous owner citing that we could not take care of them.

All in all, I have done as little as possible to blunt the blow from the consequences that have resulted in her use. I have done what i can to minimize it (for example I have continued paying her car insurance and making the car payments because it helps her to have a car to attend meetings, etc...). But i have also not done others that would have saved additional pain (like not paying the bills and letting the student loan go into default, etc...).

For your son, you have to decide how much you are willing to do for him. For example, you can let his apartment go into default, but you may need to go there and clean it out so he does not lose all the contents when the eviction put-out occurs. Or you can let that happen. For the pets, take them in, see if friends can take them, or put them up for boarding and pay for it, or let the bill come due and make him work there to pay off the debt. There are many options, but i am not a fan of paying for their mistakes to help them minimize/avoid some of the consequences. i have already paid much during the addiction, I am not willing to pay to clean it up.

Again, if looking for ideas, PM me and we can discuss. There are many options, just have to figure out which do not enable and also help minimize future possible damage.

BTW, any money you front to cover the bills and expect to be repaid, treat it as gift in your mind as often money loaned to family/friends rarly gets repaid and by considering it a gift lets you not bear any ill regards to the person if they do not repay it.
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