I am in the middle of my divorce. My final straw was when he came downstairs drunk at 8am and called me names in front of the housekeeper. I still gave him a chance to clean his act but then I found him drinking from a
Bottle of vodka in his closet. As pathetic as I felt for him , I knew I could not keep living like that for himself. Fast forward 1 year -
He resents me for abandoning him, resents me for callingcops on him when he once broke down a door to my bedroom . He never contacted me or begged for forgiveness which was a clear indication that he had chosen his path. Since I filed for divorce , in the past 4 months, he has spent close to $50,000 dollars on expensive food, expensive vacations and expensive alcohol. He has maxed out his credit cards and spent all his income.
He initially tried saying that I was making up his alcoholism and abuse but I had a recording of him being drunk which I had hoped to send to his boss if ever needed to get him some help if the situation arises , but I had to use it during divorce . He then turned around and said that I was using him for money during our marriage and I used his alcoholism against him. Victim mentality anyone ? I am lucky that I have a stable career of my own and I wasn't banking on his income even though he had manipulated me into a financial bind till recently and got me to be financially dependent on him. Little did I know that his love for fancy cars was costing us 100k in debt. He did not want to share any financial information from "his" money with me.
Anyway, my point is that they know how to manipulate and will find ways to keep their enablers around. Wether it be by begging or pleading or by playing mind games.
Do what is best for you. Take care of yourself. It is emotionally tough to detach. I get it. I am still stuck in it but some days I thank god for the decision I made. Do I feel guilty for leaving him behind? Absolutely . But it's his fight. He wasn't willing to fight it and I could not fight it for him. Letting go of me was easier than letting go of alcohol at this point for him.