Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Oh Krews I can feel the pain from your post. I'm so sorry for all of your losses and for the horrible hold that this damned addiction has on you right now.
I too went from daily drinking to binging (failed repeated attemts to stop). I too felt hopeless and utterly isolated.
The change to binging for me accelerated the affect on my physical and mental health and it seemed like I was permanently drunk or withdrawing or craving badly. A living hell.
I can tell you hand on heart that stumbling on SR in a desperate search for connection with anybody was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so happy you have found us too.
I don't think anybody here has a magic answer on how they broke free from addiction but it can absolutely be done. I reached the point where I was so terrified of dying in my sleep that I was willing to fight with everything I had for sobriety. Hands up I was defeated and I accepted that I could never safely drink alcohol again. Not one sip. Ever.
So it began with one day. One horrible anxiety ridden never-ending day of withdrawal. But I made it. My only priority each and every day at first was to get my head on the pillow sober each night. Nothing else mattered.
I hope you choose to become an active member of SR. It really does help. Perhaps check out the Class of March 2018 and the 24 hour thread for starters. There is also so much to learn.
You aren't alone any more. I wish you well and look forward to sharing your journey with you xxx