"I love you even though I don't always like you".
I'm so sorry about THIS. My mother said the same thing to me, and it's mean-spirited.
Have you read, "Children of the Lie," by M. Scott Peck?
I really can't engage too much more on this because it is too triggering for me - but I probably could have written (most of) your post. I just choose to not talk about it that much because it makes me feel HORRIBLE.
Ugh.
LC/NC worked for me. Stand your ground, would be my thoughts.
I'm just glad my mother passed away before she started going down physically. There are plenty of social programs in the US. She'll find one if/when she has to.