Old 03-10-2018, 12:02 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Berrybean
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hey, I'm in the UK as well. And I completely relate to your fears about walking into the first meeting. I lived in a very spread-out city when I was first sober and it was a good brisk 20 mins walk to my closest meeting, and driving and parking woukd have been a nightmare. Still, I walked that walk and then straight past it for the first few attempts.

In the UK there is a telephone service. If you call it they will take your number and get someone from your local area to contact you. And an email service that does the same kind of thing, which is how I first reached out in the end. Somehow it made it easier to walk through the door knowing I'd spoken to someone about it first.

Anyway - I really needn't have worried. Everyone there remembered their first meetings and how anxious they'd felt and were lively and welcoming, introducing themselves and making sure I was comfortable, and giving me contact details for between meetings and the like.

Regarding what to expect. Well, everyone goes in, grabs a coffee or tea if they want one (which you don't pay for, that's just in running costs). People then sit on the chairs ready for the start of the meeting which is always prompt on advertised time (so it's best to turn up 5 or 10 mins before the advertised start time).

Someone will have taken the role on of Secretary. This person (and everyone in the room in a Closed meeting) is an alcoholic, just like us. AA is run BY alcoholics, FOR alcoholics. Anyway, they'll read the preamble. Sometimes other folk will have agreed to read some stuff out. Sometimes the stuff to be read is passed round the room. You can choose to take your turn for a paragraoh or not, depending on what is most comfortable for you. Whichever way, when you pass the writing on to the next person you just say "pass" so the next person knows it's their turn.

They will give the opportunity for newcomers to introduce themselves. All that is required is "I'm X, I'm an alcoholic and this my first meeting". If you're not comfortable identifying as an alcoholic you can replace that with "I want to stop drinking" or similar if you prefer. But you don't HAVE to even introduce yourself. If you want you can do the entire meeting as Silent Bob. Although it can be helpful to at least give your name and try to respond at least a little when people are friendly and welcoming (which they will be).

In a general share meeting there will be someone doing a longer main share, while everyone sits back and listens. There is then the opportunity for people to share back (short shares so everyone has a chance). If the meeting is an hour and a half then there will usually be a break. An hour meeting doesn't. Study meetings tend to be text focussed. Whatever the format this will be explained at the start of the meeting.

The pot for money gets passed at some point (Tradition 7 is that all groups areself-supporting) but people aren't expected to contribute for the first meeting. After that it's just what you can afford.

I hope that's a little bit helpful. (Oh yes, open meetings mean that it's not just alcoholics who can attend. Closed means jyst alcoholics. I felt safer attending closed ones at first as I felt - and still do - that they're more anonymous, but That's just me.)

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