Nitabug, I haven't read the responses, only your original post and my first question to you is
'why do you have such as need to rescue a man who only met again before Christmas?"
Do you think you can 'save' him, 'cure' him? You can't.
Do you think somehow you can 'change' him for the better? You can't
Run for the hills. Take this from someone who is married over 25 years to an A (he became an A early in our marriage, I didn't know what the craziness was, now I do). This relationship will destroy you, cause you years of heartache, false hope, sleepless nights, dashed dreams. Walk away now.