Originally Posted by
nitabug0107 
Thank you for your insight. It sounds like we're alike in that we're both compassionate and caring people.
No. He did not have pillars and wasn't enrolled in a program. We were researching and touring treatment centers in February, but without insurance, they're very costly. His family made the decision for him to be at home. His DUI happened in my county and his lawyer is here as well. His mom was taking him to court related things and driving 2 hours to get him places.
I don't know enough about the disease and thinking it was okay to allow him here, I was wrong. At the time, we all thought it would make it easier for him to get to lawyer meetings and look into programs here. But he was left alone long enough to relapse.
People told me to kick him out, so I did. And I'm very worried now because we haven't heard from him.
I didn't know that my version of helping could be so wrong.
Maybe think about it like this - you and his parents didn't do anything wrong. The plan you shared above was a pretty logical way to handle the distance, the court issue. There has just been a negative turn of events that none of you were expecting. There doesn't have to be blame assigned.
Well I can say with honesty that I would be worried also. Worry is a normal emotion. What I try to do in these situations is think about what part of the situation I have control over. Normally there is a lot that I cant do much about. So I shift to thinking about how I will handle potential outcomes. I guess its a looking forward approach. I use it in my work also, and its about the only productive thing Ive found to help lessen the anxious feelings.
(Cyber hugs)