I'm literally crying my eyes out here at work. I shouldn't even be spending time in forums when I have real work to do. But I am touched by the advice and support everyone has given.
There is so much pain right now because I know that everyone here is right. And I hate it in the sense that it feels like giving up. But it really is for the better.
When I quoted "scum of the earth" it wasn't a direct quote from this forum. Other friends and family have also weighed in on the topic. I've sought information and help from whoever would listen.
I don't want to sit here and worry. I don't want to feel this sad and angry. I'm updating this forum in real time as it's happening to me. And it's overwhelming how I feel at the moment.
It's been a short amount of time for our "relationship," but I've known this guy and his sister since we were kids. Near 20 years. I just reconnected with him and it felt good to look back on and have great memories. I don't want what I'm feeling right now to be the last memory.
I'm so scared and so hurt. I'm not trying to be different or think that my situation is. I didn't mean to get defensive. I want to stop feeling helpless.