Originally Posted by qtpi

Just wanted to send you a hug. I don't have any great advice- wish I did- It is so hard to understand. Lately I have come to the conclusion that there is a lack of respect on my adult children's part for my own individual decisions. This makes me angry. How dare any person try to tell me how to live my life- especially in an intimate area like a marriage? My life has improved so much since I left an abusive alcoholic- and he had plenty of opportunity to turn things around. Why should I be held hostage in an abusive marriage- so that on a couple of yearly holidays- my adult children can pretend everything is peachy? It's absurd! Not only that -to expect you to live alone the rest of your adult life- so they are comfortable ? Really? How about they don't marry or have a significant other- to please you? You are the person who gets to decide your life, not your children.
On another note, I got fed up with being the nice, loving MOM to my daughter who was treating me poorly-so I told her- we'll talk when you come up to see me- that was in mid December- no Christmas card from her. Nothing until mid- February when I received flowers!! what a surprise! She has lined up a counselor to see both of us- I hope we will reconnect in a. loving, caring way and I hope she respects me enough to treat me with respect and kindness. I want a loving relationship with my daughter- and I have no problem with her telling me she is angry with me- but she will no longer treat me shabbily. I will not tolerate it.
I see this move on her part as hopeful- but I am still going in with shields up!