Welcome back, Drillbit. As others already have, I urge you to see your doctor; withdrawals can be managed and can be made a lot more comfortable. With as much as you are drinking I believe detox would be your best choice. I needed lots of help to quit and had seizures during detox that could've been fatal if I hadn't been under medical supervision. Your parents (and us) want you alive, happy and healthy and you needn't be ashamed to seek help. Wishing you all the best on your sober journey.