I think what helped me was realizing that my "over-giving" and putting up with things
I would not accept from any other person in the name of love, was actually both harmful and disrespectful of the addict.
By this I mean I wasn't giving them the dignity of choosing for themselves,
but instead trying to impose my idea of "right action" on them like I was their parent.
By rescuing and fixing, I was confusing the issue of their addiction and its natural consequences.
By stepping back and taking care of me, I was helping both of us.