Thing is, if sobriety on it's own was enough, why would there be people all over the world working on Recovery programs?
I really do believe theatre quality of my sobriety is in direct proportion to the effort I put into my recovery. I have to remember that in my journey, the things that have brought me the most peace and relief have all been things that I didn't want to do. Mostly in fact things that I started out by saying I certainly would NOT do (even if I said that to myself silently).
Keep praying. Thing is, God doesn't answer our prayers by doing this stuff for us, because recovery doesn't work like that. He answers our prayers by sending us the tools we need and granting us the grace and humility to do the work we need to do. He send us the shovel, but we need to pick it up and do the digging. He loves us too much and knows us too well to just do it for us. What steps are you willing to take today. What are you prepared to actually DO to get better?
You know, for a while back there (at the end of my drinking, and in the first month of sobriety) I thought I was in hell. And a hell of my own construction at that. Later I realised that it wasn't hell. It was the furnace of affliction. I needed to be good and hot before I was ever going to be ready and truly willing to put the work into changing and maintaining that change. I needed refining. All those bad habits and bad attitudes and counter-productive coping strategies. All of them needed to go.
God doesn't refine us in a literal furnace of fire. He has the furnace of affliction to refine us. Affliction meaning “hardship, trouble, adversity, distress, and trial.” I reckon God's more concerned with our condition than our comfort. He'd rather have us temporarily uncomfortable than carry on as we are or were. Although this may be uncomfortable for the time being, think how much fruit this transformation will bring in your life! Be patient. Keep praying. He's in that furnace with you.
BB