Originally Posted by
xxxNICHOLExxx 
Hello everyone wasn’t even couple days ago I was on here drunk and thinking self harm!!!! Well what’s really scary is thinking about it sober!!! I’m trying so hard to be happy and positive and ignore it but I keep going to this dark place!!!! When your alone it’s worse I’ve tried to talk to someone and they didn’t care and said it’s all my head my addiction my depression and thoughts of ending everything they said go a head you won’t do it !!! I’m trying to be strong and here for my kids and my mom but I can’t even be here for myself!!! I’m about to my end I can’t take it anymore but I know it’s wrong to end your life....I’m scared to go to the hospital because I know they will admit me and I don’t what they would do I have my kids and animals to take care of... rehab I don’t want to be away from my kids and I think I’m beyond AA but I’m tried of suffering I’ve took my Ativan to try and chill me out and it hasn’t worked I’m feel awful bugging y’all but I don’t know where to turn I just want things to be better and love my life again not end it but it seems to be on my mind more and more I don’t know what’s wrong with me I can set and deal with it I can drink on it I can try and find help or take the easy way out each option honestly scares me and I’m ashamed to admit this because I know this truly isn’t me... I’m sorry
You need to think long-term not short-term. Short-term it is going to suck to be away from your kids but long-term going to the hospital and getting professional help is probably the best decision you can make for yourself and your kids. If you don't go to the hospital and end up killing yourself or not getting the help you need you are not going to be the mother your kids need.
We can help you on this board but there's only so much we can do. A trained professional that will be able to talk to you in person and constantly be around you can do so much for you. I'd seriously consider it.